So America pretty much sucks. But we did do some good things, like make movies, invent jazz and rock music, and found the first liberal representative government ever.
America does not pretty much suck. It is a sad day when I have to stand up for America, because as you all know, I don't really stand up for anything. Come on children, America gave us 80's hair metal bands, the modern assembly line, muscle cars, sports illustrated, and big tobacco. Sure we destroyed the credibility of the nobel prize and stole our land from natives, but those things have all been done before. Plus, now we have Indian casinos and American Spirits. Boys and girls, we should love America in spite of her faults not love to spite her for her faults. I miss the days when we still had lead in our fuel, strontium in our water and weren't afraid to nuke the nevada desert all for the betterment of our country. In spite of anything people may say, I will call the evangelical my brother and shake the hand of a mexican man to show that there are few things I love more than America as flawed as she may be. So Garrett, yes Hamburgers came from Hamburg, but we took them from those liberal fruit-cakes and made the hamburger what it is today. Hamburg has nothing on us, we eat Hamburgers for breakfast.
Amen. Too much dissing America simply for the sake of dissing America. Because in case no one noticed, pretty much everyone sucks. We just do it in what I believe to be a more enjoyable fashion.
Perhaps it is fair to say, that we can legitimately diss America for things America should be dissed for. And we should appreciate America for what America should be appreciated for.
The Malboro Man Mickey Mouse High school Musical (but also Mary Poppins) The telephone
Let's be clear that human vices weren't invented with the founding of America. In fact even in the founding of America, humankind tried to address problems.
Man is prone to corruption and greed; how can checks be placed on his power to avoid a despotic government, etc.
Maybe it's that hope and forward-looking spirit of the American West and the founding settlers that most encapsulates our American Heritage.
And let us not forget the American gift of Coca Cola, BBQ, Xbox, and comic books. Without these, in addition to superior sports, I would be less amused...
-Hamburgers = from Hamburg = German
ReplyDelete-Touché.
-No.
-I'm thanking the Brits for it's creation, though I'll give the Americans credit for it's weapons.
-meh
-Check.
-The Eiffel Tower is a far better monument.
-Actually, she's %100 Dutch. Though I suppose she was born in America...
Football
ReplyDeleteBasketball
Baseball
Many highly attractive actors and actresses.
My mom.
Me.
Rock and Roll.
Also:
ReplyDelete-Evangelicalism
-Obesity
-Rush Limbaugh
-Consumerism
-Kevin Shaw
So America pretty much sucks. But we did do some good things, like make movies, invent jazz and rock music, and found the first liberal representative government ever.
America does not pretty much suck. It is a sad day when I have to stand up for America, because as you all know, I don't really stand up for anything. Come on children, America gave us 80's hair metal bands, the modern assembly line, muscle cars, sports illustrated, and big tobacco. Sure we destroyed the credibility of the nobel prize and stole our land from natives, but those things have all been done before. Plus, now we have Indian casinos and American Spirits. Boys and girls, we should love America in spite of her faults not love to spite her for her faults. I miss the days when we still had lead in our fuel, strontium in our water and weren't afraid to nuke the nevada desert all for the betterment of our country. In spite of anything people may say, I will call the evangelical my brother and shake the hand of a mexican man to show that there are few things I love more than America as flawed as she may be. So Garrett, yes Hamburgers came from Hamburg, but we took them from those liberal fruit-cakes and made the hamburger what it is today. Hamburg has nothing on us, we eat Hamburgers for breakfast.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
Amen. Too much dissing America simply for the sake of dissing America. Because in case no one noticed, pretty much everyone sucks. We just do it in what I believe to be a more enjoyable fashion.
ReplyDeleteDearly beloved people,
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is fair to say, that we can legitimately diss America for things America should be dissed for. And we should appreciate America for what America should be appreciated for.
The Malboro Man
Mickey Mouse
High school Musical (but also Mary Poppins)
The telephone
Let's be clear that human vices weren't invented with the founding of America. In fact even in the founding of America, humankind tried to address problems.
Man is prone to corruption and greed; how can checks be placed on his power to avoid a despotic government, etc.
Maybe it's that hope and forward-looking spirit of the American West and the founding settlers that most encapsulates our American Heritage.
Hillsdale should pay me.
Also: bourbon.
ReplyDeleteNeed I say more?
And let us not forget the American gift of Coca Cola, BBQ, Xbox, and comic books. Without these, in addition to superior sports, I would be less amused...
ReplyDeleteAnd Aids! Oh wait, no, that was Africa and Gays...
ReplyDelete...too far? or just the right amount of truth?
ReplyDeletetoo far.