R.I.P.

On Sunday a very special woman (or womin or womyn, as poor Mary would probably prefer) died, leaving behind a legacy of womyn's rights, enviromentalism, and, as the picture above illustrates quite well, axe-wielding-lesbianism. Mary was known for her extreme views on sexuality, religion, theology, and penises. Indeed, her fundamentalist anti-phallus antics may be connected to her love of axes (as a side note, all earthenware jars in her Massachusetts home are being searched). Madam Daly was no stranger to controversy, and indeed seemed to lap it up with vigor. She was infamous for her view that heterosexual sex was akin to necrophilia. This can be attributed to her opinion that, quote, "whatever a man touches, it is stained by death. They walk, their devilish horns swinging between their legs, treading upon womyn everywhere they step. Think of them as really, really stupid zombies". Mary Daly also stroked the fire-pit of controversy when she refused to allow men to take her Women's Studies class at Boston College. The College (who were all men, by the way) did not allow Mary to segregate her classes in such a way, and so she retired in protest. She died peacefully, although rumors have been circulating that members of the MILF (Men's Incredible Liberation Front) had actually invaded her home Sunday evening and executed her with swords. It is reported that she struck down nearly 43 of the MILFs with her beloved battle-axe "Cockchopper" before being greivously wounded. Her dying words were "Screw men!" and she instantly regretted the phrase and died.

Rest in peace, Mary Daly. May you hunt well on the plains of your fore-mothers, catching rabbits on the lips of the Great Gorge.

"When she left, Wilson was thinking, when she went off to cry, she seemed a hell of a fine woman. She seemed to understand, to realize, to be hurt for him and for herself and to know how things really stood. She is away for twenty minutes and now she is back, simply enamelled in American female cruelty. They are the damndest women. Really the damndest" - The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber